cynthia zordich

The woman is living a half life. Her world is grey. She does not fill the frame of her life. She has not met her own expectations.

Stifled. Depressed. She continues life's duties with a strong front, yet carries the weight of overwhelming self doubt.

Soaked in insecurity, she is drowning in a tide of poor choices and stifled dreams.

The child inside muscles her way out to confront and awaken the soul of the woman.

The woman is spun by the energy of the child. The purpose of the turn is to redirect, remind and challenge the woman.

Energy in the form of light enters soul of the woman. First, a gradual warming that she keeps to herself. It unnerves her and excites her simultaneously. Her response ignites a spark and suddenly she is on fire.

The journey begins. The woman feels her soul opening up. She is filled with energy, self-awareness, sexuality and confidence.

A second visit to adolescence. She cannot sit still. Her energy awakens her playfulness and her sexuality. Here, she takes note of her physical appearance. Her body becomes her temple. Her priorities shift to me, me, me. She drowns out the noise of her life with music. She is child-like. Those around her respond to her new energy and she is aware of its affect.

The woman realizes she is different. She has become inappropriate. Her world closes in around her. Women bore her. She purposefully separates herself from her crowd and begins to search for others like her. Friends whisper.

Defiance. Self-righteousness sets in. The woman alienates everyone in her life as she realizes she is being "discussed". She becomes her own best friend. She is selfish, self-involved and spinning out of control. This is the time when most mistakes are made. This is the moment when it is crucial to understand the true purpose of the journey. This is where she blames her poor choices on everyone else. This is where she has the potential to ruin her life and the lives of those she shares. And it is here, that I beg her, to realize that this affair is with herself. It is not about her co-worker or the new guy at the gym. This a full-blown affair between the woman and the child within. Learn from it, grow from it, make changes for your betterment, but do not mistake it for nonsense. It will pass, and you will be left to pick up the pieces of your own destruction. Although the battle is within - it will leak into other relationships. All around you are in defensive mode as you appear to be in attack mode. The ultimate goal is not to destroy, but alter the forces that are stifling your growth - and that may include your inner circle.

The confusion sets in. Real life responsibilities and values conflict with the phenomenon. Nature pulls and the struggle is overwhelming. If this were a ride- she wants off. Once the confusion subsides it is the time to think about what you want and how to get there. This is when self-evaluation is key.

Insanity subsides. A calm comes over the woman. Nurturing, purpose and balance beckon her. She has initiated change and is ready to deal with the consequences but longs for structure. Her energy shifts from reckless to productive. Tooled with confidence and strength, she trusts her instincts and begins to devise her plan to return home.

The woman thanks the child for instigating such an incredible journey. She has no regret. Although now settled, she is different. She is wiser, more self-aware and alive. Most importantly, she has reconnected with her original self. This is the beginning of the second journey. A purposeful life filled with clarity, wisdom and renewed confidence.